Hello Friday Fictioneers! I am really enjoying the opportunity to share and read others short stories.
For those of you, who do not take part in the Friday Fictioneers blog group, please accept this as an invitation. Every Wednesday we are receive a photo and the goal is to give a short story using 100 words. This task is the true challenge and I find it very inspiring reading the other members view on the photo prompt.
Each participate then has an opportunity to review, comment, and/or offer constructive criticism. Therefore we live, learn, and improve. Come join and have some fun!
Rochelle Wisoff-Fields is the host and extends a welcome to all participants.
Below is my contribution.
Copyright-Renee Homan Heath
Did someone call me?
“Katelyn”
I don’t know anyone here.
I am tired and I do not want to be noticed.
The struggle to fight is unbearable.
I just want to go quietly, knowing the plans for tonight.
Should I answer the voice beyond the brush?
“Katelyn”
It is so welcoming and inviting.
Walking across the boardwalk bare feet, I feel as if I am in another world.
A new hope grows with every step.
In the distance could that really be him.
All of my strength leaves me as I looked at the silhouette of my love.
Click here to read other Friday Fictioneers
Loving ME 101 
Comments on: "The Whispered Call" (21)
Dear YJ,
A sweet piece that exudes sweet peace. On a technical note, in your fourth line you have tire and notice…I think you need a “d’ on the end of each of those.
shalom,
Rochelle
Thank you. I kept getting an error message using the past tense form. I am making the updates. Shalom.
This was a nice piece. I didn’t understand the switch from first person narrative to third person and then back to first, right at the end. Am I missing something here?
That is my error. I posted late last night and I was tired. Correction is in order. Thanks Sandra!
Terrific love story!
Thank you and thanks for stopping by.
I love the hope this story leaves me with. Lovely tale
That was my aim and goal.
awww, poor girl, but this could be something special when she gets there.
i’m looking at this line: In the distance background… i don’t think you need the word “background.” just distance. well done.
Thank you rich. Great suggestion!…
i’m glad you think so.
I like how you move from tired depression to the dawning of hope. I could feel my spirits lifting along with hers.
On the more mundane side…
“I felt as if I was in another world
A new hope grew with every step.
In the distance background could that really be him.
All of my strength left me…”
The rest of the piece is in the present tense, so just change, “I feel as if I’m in…hope grows…can that really be…strength leaves me…” Then everything works together.
janet
Perfect…I am personally moved. Thank you!
I hope what she sees works out for her. I felt despair in her tiredness. But maybe she’s in a dream… that might work.
You are so correct Ted. Her focus was to bring harm to herself.
Such a nice change of pace. Very nice.
Thank you and thanks for stopping by. Very encouraging.
Meetin your love is worth whatever obstacles greeet you. Nice story here.
Thank you Joe. I agree, love is vital to our survival.
Such a nice change from exhausted despair to hope!
That was what I wanted to capture. Thank you for stopping by.